Bill and Hillary...


While Bill, Hillary and Chelsie were vacationing in Wyoming the housekeeper was tasked with looking after their pet parrot. They hadn't been gone for more than a couple of days when the parrot was found dead in the bottom of it's cage.

The housekeeper set out to find a replacement bird and visited nearly every pet store in Washington. After several hours of looking, she came across an exact duplicate of the bird. As she purchased the parrot, the shop owner cautioned her that the bird had previously be owned by a Madam and had lived for several years in a house of ill-repute. The housekeeper said that no one would ever know and took the bird back to the White House.

The morning after the Clintons return to the White House, Chelsie walked through the room and the bird said, "Too young." A little later Hillary came into the room and the bird responded with, "Too old."

That afternoon the President entered the room and the bird said, "HI BILL!"


Bill and Hillary were at the first baseball game of the season. The umpire walked up to the VIP section and yelled something. Clinton suddenly grabbed Hillary by the collar and threw her over the side; onto the field.

The stunned umpired shouted, "No, Mr. President! I said, `Throw the first PITCH.'"


Bill and Hillary are at a restaurant. The waiter told them the evening's specials were chicken almondine and fresh fish.

"The chicken sounds good, I'll have that," Hillary said. The waiter nodded, "And the vegetable?" "Oh, HE'll have the fish," Hillary replied.


Bill and Hillary are on a sinking boat. Who was saved?
The nation.

What do you get when you cross a crooked politician with a dishonest lawyer?
Chelsea.

What does Bill say to Hillary after having Sex?
"Honey, I'll be home in 20 minutes."

Clinton returns from a vacation in Arkansas and walked down the steps of Air Force One with two pigs under his arms. At the bottom of the steps, the honor guardsman steps forward and remarks, "Nice pigs, Mr. President."

Clinton replied, "I'll have to let you know that these are genuine Arkansas Razorback Hogs. I got this one for Chelsea and this one for Hillary... So, now what do you think?"

The honor guardsman answerd, "Nice trade, Sir."




Last modified: 11/26/1997