Hazardous Substances


HAZARDOUS MATERIALS INFORMATION BULLETIN
MATERIALS SAFETY DATA SHEET

CHEMICAL ANALYSIS

ELEMENT : Woman
CHEMICAL SYMBOL : WO
DISCOVERER : Adam
ATOMIC MASS : Accepted as 53.6 kg, but know to vary from 40 to 200 kg
OCCURRENCE : Copious quantities in all urban areas

PHYSICAL PROPERTIES

  1. Usually covered with painted film
  2. Boils at nothing, freezes without any known reason
  3. Melts if given special treatment
  4. Bitter if incorrectly used
  5. Found in various states, from virgin metal to common ore
  6. Yields to pressure applied in the correct parts

CHEMICAL PROPERTIES

  1. Has an affinity with gold, silver and a range of precious stones
  2. Absorbs huge quantities of expensive substances
  3. May explode spontaneously without warning or reason
  4. Insoluble in liquids, but activity greatly increased by saturation in alcohol
  5. Most powerful money reducing agent known to man

COMMON USES

  1. Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars
  2. Can be a great relaxation aid
  3. Very effective cleaning agent

TESTS

  1. Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in the natural state
  2. Turns green when placed beside a better specimen

HAZARDS

  1. Highly dangerous in inexperienced hands
  2. Illegal to posses more than one, although several can be maintained at different locations as long as the specimens do not come into contact with each other

HAZARDOUS MATERIALS INFORMATION BULLETIN
MATERIALS SAFETY DATA SHEET

CHEMICAL ANALYSIS

ELEMENT : Man
CHEMICAL SYMBOL : XY
ATOMIC MASS : 90 +- 50 kg
OCCURRENCE : Copious quantities in all urban areas

PHYSICAL PROPERTIES

  1. Solid at room temperature
  2. Easily gets bent out of shape.
  3. Fairly dense and sometimes flaky.
  4. Difficult to find a pure sample. Due to rust, aging samples are unable to conduct electricity as easily as young fresh samples.

CHEMICAL PROPERTIES

  1. Attempts to bond with Wo any chance it can get.
  2. Also, tends to form strong bonds with itself.
  3. Becomes explosive when mixed with Kd (element Kid) for prolonged period of time.
  4. Neutralize by saturating with alcohol.

USAGE

  1. None really, except methane production.
  2. Good samples are able to produce large quantities on command.

CAUTIONS

  1. In the absence of Wo, this element rapidly decomposes and begins to smell.



Last modified: 11/26/1997