Dictionary of Dating

Attraction - the act of associating horniness with a particular person

Love at first Sight - what occurs when two extremely horny, but not entirely choosy people meet. (i.e. when you're drunk)

Dating - The process of spending enormous amounts of money, time, and energy to get better acquainted with a person whom you don't especially like in the present and will learn to like a lot less in the future

Birth Control - avoiding pregnancy through such tactics as swallowing special pills, inserting a diaphragm, using a condom, and dating repulsive men

Easy - a term used to describe a woman who has the sexual morals of a man

Eye Contact - a method utilized by a single woman to communicate to a man that she is interested in him. Despite being advised to do so, woman have difficulty looking a man directly in the eyes, not necessarily due to the shyness, but usually due to the fact that a woman's eyes are not located in her chest

Friend - a member of the opposite sex in your acquaintance who has some flaw which makes sleeping with him/her totally unappealing

Indifference - a woman's feeling towards a man, which is interpreted to by the man as "playing hard to get"

Interesting - a word a man uses to describe a woman who lets him do all the talking

Irritating Habit - what the endearing little qualities that initially attract two people to each other turn into after a few months together

Law of Relativity - how attractive a given person appears to be is directly proportionate to how unattractive your date is.

Nymphomaniac - a man's term for a woman who wants to have sex more often than he does

Sober - condition in which it is almost impossible to fall in love

Last modified: November 26, 1997