New Product Announcements:
I would like to take this opportunity to announce an entirely new database software package, with an exceptional marketing twist-
Better and stronger than DBase, Quicker and more intense than XBase,with a higher level of processing than FoxPro and DB2, for you who desire the highest power you can get,
FreeBase is the processing addition that allows your system to work at its fastest. When your system is on FreeBase, you will feel that it works faster, and with more energy than before. Your system will seem smarter, more sophisticated, and nearly invincible, regardless of what other systems may indicate.
Your first installation of FreeBase is absolutely without cost. You will be given free assistance in installation and setup. You will find that FreeBase provides an immediate pickup to your system, for a short period of time. Actually, the initial jolt that FreeBase provides to your system is nearly unbelievable.
Once your system is using FreeBase, simple monthly payments to your supplier will insure FreeBase's continued availability. After a short period of time under FreeBase's influence, you will probably desire to increase the power and frequency of your FreeBase usage. This can be done by decreasing the time between maintenance payments, and/or increasing the maintenance fees paid to your supplier. Some of our heaviest FreeBase users are paying on a daily basis or even more frequently, to insure the highest level of FreeBase saturation.
If you decide you want to use FreeBase more, to enhance your system continually, or increase the power of your FreeBase returns (also known as a 'Rush'), you may opt to distribute FreeBase to other non-users. You will be given large credits for each new FreeBase user, which can be applied to your FreeBase maintenance concerns. Your supplier will be glad to assist you in convincing your colleagues that FreeBase is a valuable addition to their own systems.
FreeBase forces information through your system at an amazingly quick rate (some systems may actually suffer from burnout due to the intensity that FreeBase requires). Unfortunately, some systems with the heaviest FreeBase usage have indicated a loss of memory, and sometimes their systems halt. We are confident that these were due to a bad infusion of FreeBase, or utilizing too much FreeBase, and place all fault with the systems in question.
You MAY notice that your systems need for FreeBase increases with time. In fact, FreeBase usually becomes such an integral part of a system, that users will do nearly anything to maintain it. FreeBase usage may indeed become the sole reason for your systems existence. If at some time you decide to cease the use of FreeBase, your system may become erratic, unpredictable, and nearly uncontrollable. Some systems have been known to halt or abend irrecoverably during the FreeBase withdrawal process.
We are confident that the use of FreeBase will prove to be an addictive experience.
Contact your neighborhood supplier for your FreeBase solution (also known as a 'Fix').
Last modified: November 26, 1997