The Top 15 Ways the Democratic Convention Will Be More Fun Than the Republican Convention

15 Recent poll indicates 87% of registered Democrats know where to score some killer weed.
14 TV crews don't have to work as hard to find minority delegates.
13 Less chance of party nominee "buying the farm" during acceptance speech.
12 The Dems will have Pictionary!
11 Hookers discover that, unlike their GOP counterparts, Democratics actually like sex!
10 Pat "The Black Hole of Fun" Buchanan nowhere in sight.
9 Tipper + Al + Macarena = Dance Inferno!
8 Secret "you know what" party in Jocelyn Elders' room.
7 Al Gore, stoked on corn liquor, dives into the mosh pit.
6 Wacky "I'm with the Unindicted Co-Conspirator" T-shirts.
5 That palpable, all-encompassing air of doom and futility? It's back in San Diego, pal!
4 Nothing spices up a dull speech like a purloined FBI file.
3 Actually, *ANYTHING* would be more fun than the Republican convention.
2 With Ted Kennedy in charge of entertainment and Marion Barry in charge of refreshments? Are you kiddin' me??
  and the Number 1 Way the Democratic Convention Will Be More Fun Than the Republican Convention...
1 Two words: Newt-Kabobs

[ This list copyright 1996 by Chris White and Ziff-Davis ]
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Last modified: Sept 13, 1996