Spacier Than Thou...


So often we share funny stories that may or may not be based in fact. This one is factual - I work with Kate, and she's still blushing! As she intimates, it's been ungodly cold here lately - when it hits zero, it feels warm! (Tell me again why I live in Michigan?) And, add to this, we've had blizzards lately - ones that mean 7-8 foot drifts in the parking lot, and tunnels of snow between buildings. (Remember snow - that white stuff that you really don't miss in GA?) Anyhow, I though you might enjoy this one....

The following is not vital reading, but if you've ever felt like you're losing your mind, or, at best, have temporarily become a space cadet, perhaps my sad tale will make you feel better.

I am not making this up. Last Friday afternoon, (and you know what kind of weather we had last Friday), I got out of work at 2:00 and headed for my car in the K lot. I put my key in the car lock, and since it didn't go all the way in, I deduced that the lock was frozen. The other door lock was even worse. So I trudged back to the library and called Campus Security. They said they couldn't help. Bonnie let me use the WD-40 from Circulation, so back I went to the balmy parking lot, and sprayed with abandon, but to no avail. Human Resources donated a coat hanger. I used to lock my keys in the family Volvo regularly when I was in high school, and got very good at opening it with a hanger, but I must have lost the touch. After a bit, Lois showed up and she gave me a ride to Kirkhof, where I bought some de-icer. The wind-chill being what it was, I was immensely grateful for the lift.

The de-icer didn't work. Back at the library, I called Campus Security again and they helpfully gave me the number of Allendale Towing. They showed up right away, and heated my key, but still no luck. They didn't have their break-in tools, so they said they'd be back soon. I settled myself on the stairs of the lobby in Lake Michigan Hall, reading the scintillating Lanthorn. I also made a few calls to my family to let them know why I was late.

Given the fact that Allendale Towing was very busy on Friday, an hour and a half could qualify as "soon", but I started to get panicky when 5:00 rolled around, and the parking lot was emptying fast. I thought I saw Laurel going to her car, so I chased after her to ask for a ride. It wasn't her (oops), so I headed back to the library to find her. But then Allendale Towing returned and commenced trying to break in to the car. As I stamped my feet to keep warm, Yvonne came by and let me sit in her car. The Towing guys weren't having much luck when a staff person came by and started showing quite a bit of interest.

He pulled out a key, and then put it in the lock, and then opened it. Yes, indeed. It was his car. Not mine. I had spent 3+ hours trying to get into a car that wasn't mine. Mine was sitting all by itself several rows away, its locks unfrozen, waiting for me to take it home.

Did I feel stupid? Don't answer. Did I learn anything? Probably not. But I've come away with a pseudo-beatitude:

blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused.




Last modified: 11/26/1997