The top 10 things you'll never hear a
10. Here honey, you use the remote.
9. You know, I'd like to see her again, but her breasts are just too big.
8. Oooh, Antonio Banderas AND Brad Pitt! That's one movie I gotta see!
7. While I'm up, can I get you anything?
6. Honey, since we don't have anything else planned, will you go to the wallpaper store with me?
5. Sex isn't that important; sometimes, I just want to be held.
4. Why don't you go to the mall with me and help me pick out a pair of shoes.
3. Aww, forget Monday Night Football. Let's watch Melrose Place.
2. Hey let me hold your purse while you try that on.
1. We never talk anymore!
The top 10 things you'll never hear a woman say:
10. What do you mean today's our anniversary!
9. Can we not talk to each other tonight? I'd rather watch TV.
8. Ohh, this diamond is way too big!
7. And for our honeymoon, we're going fishing in Alaska!
6. Can our relationship get a little more physical? I'm tired of being "just friends."
5. Honey, does this outfit make my butt look too small?
4. Aww, don't stop for directions, I'm sure you'll be able to figure out how to get there.
3. Is that phone for me? Tell 'em I'm not here.
2. I don't care if it is on sale, $300 is too much for a designer dress.
1. Hey, pull my finger.
Last modified: November 26, 1997