Twas the Night Before Implementation

by Jeanne Eichinger

Twas the night before implementation and all through the house,
Not a program was working not even a browse.
The programmers hung by their tubes of despair,
with hope that a miracle would soon be there.
The users were nestled all snug in their beds,
while visions of inquires danced in their heads.
When out of the machine room there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my desk to see what was the matter.
And what to my wondering eyes should appear,
but a super programmer, (with a six-pack of beer).
His resume glowed with experience so rare,
he turned out great code with a bit-pusher's flair.
More rapid than eagles, his programs they came,
and he cursed and muttered and called them by name.
On update! On add! On inquiry! On delete!
On batch jobs! On closing! On functions complete!
His eyes were glazed over, fingers nimble and lean,
from weekends and nights in front of the screen.
A wink of his eye, and a twitch of his head,
soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.
He spoke not a word, but went straght to his work,
turning spec's into code; then turned with a jerk;
And laying his finger upon the "ENTER" key,
the system came up and worked perfectly.
The updates updated, the deletes, they deleted;
the inquiries inquired, and closings completed.
He tested each whistle, and tested each bell
with nary an abend, and all had gone well.
The system was finished, the tests were concluded.
The user's last changes were even included.
And the user exclaimed with a snarl and a taunt,
"It's just what I asked for, but not what I want!"

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Last modified: January 12, 1997