Acura Integra |
- I have always wanted to own the Buick of sports
cars |
Acura Legend |
- I'm too bland for German cars |
Acura NSX |
- I am impotent |
Audi 90 |
- I enjoy putting out engine fires |
Buick Park Avenue |
- I am older than 34 of the 50 states |
Cadillac Eldorado |
- I am a very good Mary Kay salesman |
Cadillac Seville |
- I am a pimp |
Chevrolet Camaro |
- I enjoy beating the hell out of people |
Chevrolet Chevette |
- I like seeing people's reactions when I tell them I
have a 'Vette |
Chevrolet Corvette |
- I'm in a mid-life crisis |
Chevrolet El Camino |
- I am leading a militia to overthrow the government |
Chrysler Cordoba |
- I dig the rich Corinthian leather |
Datsun 280Z |
- I have a kilo of cocaine in my wheel well |
Dodge Dart |
- I teach third grade special education and I voted
for Eisenhower |
Dodge Daytona |
- I delivered pizza for four years to get this car |
Ford Fairmont |
- (See Dodge Dart) |
Ford Mustang |
- I slow down to 85 in school zones |
Ford Crown Victoria |
- I enjoy having people slow to 55mph and change
lanes when I pull up behind them |
Geo Storm |
- I will start the 11th grade in the fall. |
Geo Tracker |
- I will start the 12th grade in the fall. |
Honda del Sol |
- I have always said, half a convertible is better
than no convertible at all |
Honda Civic |
- I have just graduated and have no credit |
Honda Accord |
- I lack any originality and am basically a lemming |
Infiniti Q45 |
- I am a physician with 17 malpractice suits pending |
Isuzu Impulse |
- I do not give a damn about J.D. Power or his
reports |
Jaguar XJ6 |
- I am so rich I will pay 60K for a car that is in
the shop 280 days per year. |
Kia Sephia |
- I learned nothing from the failure of Daihatsu Corp |
Lamborghini Countach |
- I only have one testicle |
Lincoln Town Car |
- I live for bingo and covered dish suppers |
Mercury Grand Marquis |
- (See above) |
Mercedes 500SL |
- I will beat you up if you ask me for an autograph |
Mercedes 560SEL |
- I have a daughter named Bitsy and a son named Cole |
Mazda Miata |
- I do not fear being decapitated by an
eighteen-wheeler |
MGB |
- I am dating a mechanic |
Mitsubishi Diamante |
- I don't know what it means either |
Nissan 300ZX |
- I have yet to complete my divorce proceedings. |
Oldsmobile Cutlass |
- I just stole this car and I'm going to make a
fortune off the parts |
Peugeot 505 Diesel |
- I am on the EPA's Ten Most Wanted List |
Plymouth Neon |
- I sincerely enjoy doing the Macarena |
Pontiac Trans AM |
- I have a switchblade in my sock |
Porsche 911 Turbo |
- I have a three inch thingie |
Porsche 944 |
- I am dating big haired women that otherwise would
be inaccessible to me |
Saturn SC2 |
- (See Honda Civic) |
Subaru Legacy |
- I have always wanted a Japanese car even more
inferior than Isuzu |
Toyota Camry |
- I am still in the closet |
Volkswagon Beetle |
- I still watch Partridge Family reruns |
Volkswagon Cabriolet |
- I am out of the closet |
Volkswagon Microbus |
- I am tripping right now |
Volvo 740 Wagon |
- I am frightened of my wife |